This fucking movie sucks balls! I would rather jump into a high velocity wood chipper! twice! Before ever sitting through this much of worthless movements on screen mixed with Adam Sandler’s semi Bob Cat with a hint of dirty old man rasp for 2hr and 15 miserable minutes ever again. There! , Now that I have your worthless ass attention from anyone who EITHER watched this garbage and liked it or anyone who wants to be saved from certain brain and eye death. So, for starters, Adam Sandler is known as our comedy guy that we will forever always remember telling a stupid Golf ball to go in a hole in which was the ball’s home & accompanied by getting his ass kicked by Bob Barker. So a serious role isn’t that he couldn’t pull it off, it’s more that he can’t tone down his whining rasp even for 10 minutes the entire movie. All you hear is a dying Yak with thick gravel in it’s mouth -rusty-screeching the entire movie. The plot to this makes no sense, what is Sandler’s origin? How does he seem to have lots of money but too broke to pay any of his debt collectors? Why is he so shady to everyone? Why does his jewelry shop seem to have some type of clout yet Sandler is a universe away from playing a tough guy in the film. In fact Sandler’s role gets pushed around so much that you almost beg any god to grant him the one chance to stand up for himself. If that’s not enough, you get failed climax’s and the fact Sandler plays a shady cheater who has a side chick and a Wife who seems neither in love nor cross with him leading you to think maybe they are just accepting his characters actions. Next you have important roles played by real celebrities such as The Weeknd and Kevin Garnett. The weeknd’s ridiculous ass hair stands out so bad that they couldn’t even cast him as anyone else but himself only to be written in as himself to depict Sandler going to a private party to watch a performance. So stupid. Yet not stupid enough so how about Sandler getting into a fist fight with The Weeknd on top of that? Which is totally NOT plausible seeing how Sandler’s role gets kicked around the entire movie except for that one moment. Who cares though since the two just roll around on the ground only to be broken up in seconds anyway. Then you got Kevin Garnet walking into scenes taller than the ceilings like they had to raise each room just to clear his dome. This, along side his monotone deep voice that just smells of the movie was only a payday for him and nothing more. Kevin walks around like a big ass dumb tree with no believable acting abilities yet has the audacity after this movie to go onto a local talk show and claim he is open to new movie opportunities as an actor if they come along. You dumb ass 50ft human, you couldn’t be a believable actor in any fucking movie unless it was a basketball one! Fuck outta here mountain lump! Anyway, next Sandler’s dip shit role has this bright idea to get some uncut gem million dollar stone shipped inside a fish for cents on the dollar and no real idea of it’s true value. Not only are the origins of the uncut gem not really explained but why Sandler also lends it to Garnett for a game is bizarre as fuck too. Even more stupid that they wrote in a scene that Garnett thinks it gives him super human playing abilities. Garnett bro if you are reading this…remember Shaq trying to do kazaam and it was so terrible that not even kids would skip school if they knew they had to watch that stupid movie. So Garnett, ya pointy mountain lump why not just follow biggie’s advice and stick with your wicked jump shot. So next, Sandler lends this suppose-to-be expensive fine uncut gem to a Basketball player who is playing himself in a dumb ass movie for good luck or to just simply to floss cool shit only to discover it’s his good luck charm. It’s like hey story writers, dumb fucking fairy tale and that’s also suppose to be like a million dollar gem street price, yet you script Sandler to lend it out like it’s your 1987 Toyota fucking truck. No worries, the movie lets him lend it out gladly so long as he can hold Garnett’s championship ring as collateral. Only to pawn that ring hours later to build capital to pay other debts off which he keeps going deeper in the hole on.. The Sandler character is in his ears in debt from various collectors, mafia looking men, street people, old people, young people yet somehow he has gold jewelry on, a beautiful home,, beautiful wife, nice car, nice clothes and seemingly his own successful jewelry shop. So why…in..the….fuck…is he running from all these debts?! The movie decided that reason was a secret besides the possible assumable bad decisions he seems to make. The writers did however show us that Sandler’s character also cheats on his wife who he also has several-several kids with. This situation seems to not phase Sandler as he moves through the city evading more debt collectors in the presence of his wife yet living on a hope and a dream he can sell the uncut gem for a large fortune. They also show year markers every so often to show you what year the movie is taking place in. For instance it said 2008, then 2012 or something in a couple screen shots to give you this impression maybe it’s based on a true story. However it’s not at all and completely fictional which makes you hate the film even more for ever thinking Sandler’s scumbag body really existed in real life. I read some reviews on this movie about it being good and some type of brave attempt by Sandler with other quality supporting actors. This was not my perspective at all. I felt the plot made no sense, the scenes jumped around with no real direction. What would happen if he sold the uncut gem? Would he pay his debts off and suddenly not be a piece of shit anymore? Because the audience wasn’t led to that type of direction as he kept his shady role all the way up to a bullet in the head which made you jump for joy at the end. So it made the entire story cheapen into a boring camera man following some spastic fuck stick with a fucked up voice into various New York locations and call it a movie. When Sandler talks to any person in this movie he sounds like a raspy old child molester that is talking with infant voice at volume 4 -to- volume 10 at any given moment. You want to take pencils and stab your ears listening to him squawk through every scene. Then these mafia guys look like casting found them at a NYC construction site and just decided to dye some white into their hair & slick it back and throw them in slacks…call it a guido. No we ain’t really buying that. However Sandler is afraid or avoids anyone so who cares. His wife plays a seemingly smart and to the fucking point style Brooklyn chick. Yet she also appears to be at the end of her line with him as the movie plays out but they keep interacting together with the same rhythm leaving you unsure of whether she cares or doesn’t. You never really see that he has any friends except the hood as O-Dog lookin cat who comes in and out of his jewelry shop to sell stolen goods or bring referrals. Yet quickly this o-Dog Wanna Be seemingly turns on Sandler mid film in a way that makes you think they were never really friends. There is no rise or fall or direction in this movie. Nothing crazy about the uncut gem, no origin of why Sandler is such a cock sucker. No shiny carrot dangled for what happens if Sandler pulls off a hole in one or oops I mean becomes the movies hero to save the day. Nope just mindless bitchery with shady deals and no amazing cinematic scenes to speak of. Worst movie I have ever seen. The only kick ass part was to see the new actor Julia Fox display great angles of her perfect wagon on the back of her frame she calls an ass. Her booty was looking so juicy you wanna slap your neighbor in the theater. I feel like if you throw a quarter at her great ass you don’t know whether it will ricochet off our absorb into the juicy fest. You just know no matter what miss Fox’s ass will be printed on a quarter some day or it may replace our own American flag so that we could salute her Ass for the rest of our living days. The movie however, was a pile of worthless dog shit and the fact that anyone with normal human motor-cortex’s gave this garbage ass movie a good review should be executed immediately by using the weapon of their own damn terrible critic hands. Rest in peace to that 2 hours and 15 minutes I lost sprinkled with the brain damage to my eyes for watching this horse shit!