What an interesting Sci-Fi experience. So the plot is about a set of septuplets which consists of 7 identical sisters that were born in a world that outlaws any siblings. The reason for that is in this movie at the year 2043 the population is out of control and the food is diminishing. So in an effort to prevent world hunger and over population they have a rule under the “child allocation bureau” to enforce the one child per family law. In this future you notice small details like cars and various digital billboards and such. Also all of the firearms are digitally coded to specific law enforcement agents. So that means they can only fire when that specific person uses their finger recognition on the weapon. Back to the story, so these 7 sisters have one name one identity yet in the privacy of their home and under the strict supervision of their grandfather they refer to each other as a name for each day of the week. Being 7 of them they go from Monday to Sunday for their names. Each day of the week the sisters plays out the day as the role of one person and the next sister which is named the next day of the week plays out her day under the same identity. This creates many complications throughout the movie as often times some things are not shared between all of the sisters. They must wait until it’s their day before they can go out in the world and act out their identity. Now you get the plot right in the title which Monday goes missing. Each sister has drastically different personalities and I really think Noomi Rapace does a very excellent job in showing us entirely different characters even despite how much green screen she is acting with. Green screen is used to manipulate duplicate people. Rapace even interviewed saying she would listen to different music as well as wear certain perfumes depending which character she was playing to help her morph into that person. So you don’t get that cheap CGI feeling when you see them all together, they actually look and appear like different people. One of the CAB Agents that they have a run-in with is kind of a bad ass. There is this scene where he hops out of military vehicle to go handle business and sticks his arms out wide while soldiers lower armor fatigues over him which clearly displays his importance. The sisters have different styles and one of them is very tough, always working out and hitting punching bags while others just seem like ordinary women with different personalities. I read Brian Tallerico’s review which he seemed to like the intense fighting scenes which is an under statement, these bitches get down when they need to. To paraphrase Tallerico, basically he felt like there wasn’t enough character development and holes in plots even though his dumb ass should understand they had to build stories of 7 individuals in under 2hrs. Also certain pieces really didn’t need to get explained especially when the story already has so many good twists and turns leading to the climax of it all. Plus many of the aspects are relevant to the world we are living in now. One thing I would have liked is more intense phrases in revenge scenes. For instance when she over powers the doctors and sticks the one doctor with his own needle, she lowers him down and appears out of breath. I think as she was poking him with the needle they should have focused on her face as she declares “How the fuck does that shit feel?!” or maybe she could have said very sternly “Go to sleep” as the body drops to the floor. Instead you are left with too many intense scenes that needed the cult classic lines. However when she has the bathroom scene and goes HAM sandwich on the soldiers, that was done beautifully and you could feel the revenge fill the room. All in all this is a movie very worth watching with that black mirror esq feel to which makes the viewers think.
As most movie enthusiasts know, Siskel and Ebert are known as the holy grail of movie reviews. Well this particular film has many bad reviews everywhere including by the remaining critic Mr. Ebert. RIP to Siskle. Anyway so I think it’s only fair I send a RIP also to Ebert’s review on this film. I want to set the record straight but also describe the film in my opinion. Ok, Let’s ride….So Ebert claims this movie is so disgustingly bad and obviously filmed, trivial and basically just a terrible film, he even goes on to say something like it’s just another retiring assassin movie with extreme gore almost hinting like it could never be as good as the John Wick series. This is a whole new story you dip shit Ebert, this is an entirely a new tale with different things in jeopardy for a retiring world class hitman. A hitman so fucking dangerous that some other hitman won’t even try to fuck with him. To the point where you can torture and mangle him and he is literally a fuckin battle tank! Like if the lead character played by Mads Mikkelsen, were to actually punch Ebert in the face with full power it would literally snap his no good critic-ing ass into neck folding chair, that action would put him back the 1990’s when he was highly respected. Like really dude? The fight scenes in this movie are next to none. You watch Mikkelsen fuck dudes up until he uses them as human body shields. He does this in such a major degree that you are cringing at the amount he can damage in a blink of an eye. This dude does such crazy hitman work that you are convinced if he had to go up against John Wick, Leon the professional and Bruce Willis, you know damn well Mikkelsen’s character would wrap all their bodies into rubberband ball of death. That being said you see action in here that isn’t cliche or boring like fuck stick Ebert says in his review. You see shoot outs so realistic you wonder what training he had to do to pull off that shit on film. You Mikkelsen having a dope ass sex scene but switch into kill mode at a moments notice in the middle of it, to the point where dudes are getting erased while he is still in the Birthday suit. So Ebert is very incorrect claiming that you see cheesy sexual content in this film because this shit is some sexy artistry with very well evaluated/pretty casting. Very beautiful female actors in this. So good you could probably rub one out too this screen-type flavor. Next is the story line, it’s touching, moving, believable and with just enough of a twist that actually explain the characters origin really well and why this ruthless killer moves the way he does. He is an ice cold killer but searching for a soft spot within himself that he doesn’t even know if he has. The man is older yet so deadly it never slows him down. Mikkelsen plays a smart. ruthless yet very calculated on his retirement. The movie even has an almost legal organisation of hit men including pensions, rules and high pay. What if they were all to turn on this OG hitman? Will it be worth it or will he kill too many of them to make his death worth it? Why have him killed anyway? All these questions create suspense and connectivity to the scenes. Also Ebert refers to its association to a graphic novel which is why you see lots of quick shots and almost animated hallucinations the lead character experiences about past mistakes. We saw how great Watchmen was as “un film-able” style of movie that originally a graphic novel, Yet Ebert seemed like he would have sucked Zach Synders dick he loved Watchmen so much. Oh but this adaptation ruins your little panties? Well go ahead and love Watchmen as it’s a greta film indeed but Synder doesn’t want your little terrible critic bird lips on his dick. For POLAR, we are given some old English font captions to describe who characters names are as they become introduced but what is clever and not cheesy about that is when the new hitman is introduced in a scene with old English lettering on screen, you don’t get any origin or duty of their character. Instead you gotta just watch each hitman’s character develop for themselves in front of you. Ebert is over there bored as fuck trying to watch shit like 2014’s the guest, or whacking his meat to brokeback mountain OR new trash like “uncut gem” type movies while ignores Mikkelsen putting his foot so far up bad guys assess that you wonder if Mikkelsen really is a worldclass bad ass in real life? The other characters wear extreme outfits at times and they are clearly rich as fuck from their all of their contract killings. You see one of the worst torture scenes done to Mikkelsen but it also shows how he would never be broken no matter how much you mangle him, fucker just won’t die and never gives up. You see him clear out armys of master killers and hentchmen alike who are trying to kill him and if when they even try to catch him off guard his murderistic instincts are so sharpened you just have to count out ever trying to go against him. This killer also is very kind and caring to anyone he isn’t suppose to delete from earth. Including a scene where he shows a soft spot for a small animal and later a woman. I believe these scenes were done with the purpose to show the audience he is a rare killer that never grew up hurting animals. Lot’s of people might not have caught that perspective, but I did. As most killers in real life show animal hurting tendencies, but not Mikkelsen. However keep watching because our killer also makes mistakes of getting those he tries to protect in bad situations just from being around him it’s a risk. Yet this killer is soft spoken, apologetically real. So many crazy action scenes, I mean this fucker got caught in the moment while he was fucking a chick and then killed 4 seemingly tough rival hitman while he was butt naked in the snow. Not sure if Jon Wick is even willing to get butt naked in any of his trilogy work. Mikkelsen owns that shit and when he takes over the situation he warns many people not to fuck with him in so many words yet they learn the hard way as he shows no mercy. This movie was intense and it has scenes filmed in my hometown of Seattle, WA which was a trip to see current shots of Seattle not knowing that I was going to see familiar monuments in the background as he bounces around a few states. Check this one out for sure on Netflix and do us all a favor and leave a flaming pile of poop on Robert Ebert’s front door, just so he has to stomp it out like his shitty critics review of this film.
This fucking movie sucks balls! I would rather jump into a high velocity wood chipper! twice! Before ever sitting through this much of worthless movements on screen mixed with Adam Sandler’s semi Bob Cat with a hint of dirty old man rasp for 2hr and 15 miserable minutes ever again. There! , Now that I have your worthless ass attention from anyone who EITHER watched this garbage and liked it or anyone who wants to be saved from certain brain and eye death. So, for starters, Adam Sandler is known as our comedy guy that we will forever always remember telling a stupid Golf ball to go in a hole in which was the ball’s home & accompanied by getting his ass kicked by Bob Barker. So a serious role isn’t that he couldn’t pull it off, it’s more that he can’t tone down his whining rasp even for 10 minutes the entire movie. All you hear is a dying Yak with thick gravel in it’s mouth -rusty-screeching the entire movie. The plot to this makes no sense, what is Sandler’s origin? How does he seem to have lots of money but too broke to pay any of his debt collectors? Why is he so shady to everyone? Why does his jewelry shop seem to have some type of clout yet Sandler is a universe away from playing a tough guy in the film. In fact Sandler’s role gets pushed around so much that you almost beg any god to grant him the one chance to stand up for himself. If that’s not enough, you get failed climax’s and the fact Sandler plays a shady cheater who has a side chick and a Wife who seems neither in love nor cross with him leading you to think maybe they are just accepting his characters actions. Next you have important roles played by real celebrities such as The Weeknd and Kevin Garnett. The weeknd’s ridiculous ass hair stands out so bad that they couldn’t even cast him as anyone else but himself only to be written in as himself to depict Sandler going to a private party to watch a performance. So stupid. Yet not stupid enough so how about Sandler getting into a fist fight with The Weeknd on top of that? Which is totally NOT plausible seeing how Sandler’s role gets kicked around the entire movie except for that one moment. Who cares though since the two just roll around on the ground only to be broken up in seconds anyway. Then you got Kevin Garnet walking into scenes taller than the ceilings like they had to raise each room just to clear his dome. This, along side his monotone deep voice that just smells of the movie was only a payday for him and nothing more. Kevin walks around like a big ass dumb tree with no believable acting abilities yet has the audacity after this movie to go onto a local talk show and claim he is open to new movie opportunities as an actor if they come along. You dumb ass 50ft human, you couldn’t be a believable actor in any fucking movie unless it was a basketball one! Fuck outta here mountain lump! Anyway, next Sandler’s dip shit role has this bright idea to get some uncut gem million dollar stone shipped inside a fish for cents on the dollar and no real idea of it’s true value. Not only are the origins of the uncut gem not really explained but why Sandler also lends it to Garnett for a game is bizarre as fuck too. Even more stupid that they wrote in a scene that Garnett thinks it gives him super human playing abilities. Garnett bro if you are reading this…remember Shaq trying to do kazaam and it was so terrible that not even kids would skip school if they knew they had to watch that stupid movie. So Garnett, ya pointy mountain lump why not just follow biggie’s advice and stick with your wicked jump shot. So next, Sandler lends this suppose-to-be expensive fine uncut gem to a Basketball player who is playing himself in a dumb ass movie for good luck or to just simply to floss cool shit only to discover it’s his good luck charm. It’s like hey story writers, dumb fucking fairy tale and that’s also suppose to be like a million dollar gem street price, yet you script Sandler to lend it out like it’s your 1987 Toyota fucking truck. No worries, the movie lets him lend it out gladly so long as he can hold Garnett’s championship ring as collateral. Only to pawn that ring hours later to build capital to pay other debts off which he keeps going deeper in the hole on.. The Sandler character is in his ears in debt from various collectors, mafia looking men, street people, old people, young people yet somehow he has gold jewelry on, a beautiful home,, beautiful wife, nice car, nice clothes and seemingly his own successful jewelry shop. So why…in..the….fuck…is he running from all these debts?! The movie decided that reason was a secret besides the possible assumable bad decisions he seems to make. The writers did however show us that Sandler’s character also cheats on his wife who he also has several-several kids with. This situation seems to not phase Sandler as he moves through the city evading more debt collectors in the presence of his wife yet living on a hope and a dream he can sell the uncut gem for a large fortune. They also show year markers every so often to show you what year the movie is taking place in. For instance it said 2008, then 2012 or something in a couple screen shots to give you this impression maybe it’s based on a true story. However it’s not at all and completely fictional which makes you hate the film even more for ever thinking Sandler’s scumbag body really existed in real life. I read some reviews on this movie about it being good and some type of brave attempt by Sandler with other quality supporting actors. This was not my perspective at all. I felt the plot made no sense, the scenes jumped around with no real direction. What would happen if he sold the uncut gem? Would he pay his debts off and suddenly not be a piece of shit anymore? Because the audience wasn’t led to that type of direction as he kept his shady role all the way up to a bullet in the head which made you jump for joy at the end. So it made the entire story cheapen into a boring camera man following some spastic fuck stick with a fucked up voice into various New York locations and call it a movie. When Sandler talks to any person in this movie he sounds like a raspy old child molester that is talking with infant voice at volume 4 -to- volume 10 at any given moment. You want to take pencils and stab your ears listening to him squawk through every scene. Then these mafia guys look like casting found them at a NYC construction site and just decided to dye some white into their hair & slick it back and throw them in slacks…call it a guido. No we ain’t really buying that. However Sandler is afraid or avoids anyone so who cares. His wife plays a seemingly smart and to the fucking point style Brooklyn chick. Yet she also appears to be at the end of her line with him as the movie plays out but they keep interacting together with the same rhythm leaving you unsure of whether she cares or doesn’t. You never really see that he has any friends except the hood as O-Dog lookin cat who comes in and out of his jewelry shop to sell stolen goods or bring referrals. Yet quickly this o-Dog Wanna Be seemingly turns on Sandler mid film in a way that makes you think they were never really friends. There is no rise or fall or direction in this movie. Nothing crazy about the uncut gem, no origin of why Sandler is such a cock sucker. No shiny carrot dangled for what happens if Sandler pulls off a hole in one or oops I mean becomes the movies hero to save the day. Nope just mindless bitchery with shady deals and no amazing cinematic scenes to speak of. Worst movie I have ever seen. The only kick ass part was to see the new actor Julia Fox display great angles of her perfect wagon on the back of her frame she calls an ass. Her booty was looking so juicy you wanna slap your neighbor in the theater. I feel like if you throw a quarter at her great ass you don’t know whether it will ricochet off our absorb into the juicy fest. You just know no matter what miss Fox’s ass will be printed on a quarter some day or it may replace our own American flag so that we could salute her Ass for the rest of our living days. The movie however, was a pile of worthless dog shit and the fact that anyone with normal human motor-cortex’s gave this garbage ass movie a good review should be executed immediately by using the weapon of their own damn terrible critic hands. Rest in peace to that 2 hours and 15 minutes I lost sprinkled with the brain damage to my eyes for watching this horse shit!
The SkooB View 